Coaching is all about helping you achieve your goals and live your most authentic and fulfilling life. It can be fun, exhilarating, and deeply rewarding. Transformative change happens when we are supported in defining and living our values and can move past fear and anxiety into competency.
I work with people aged 15 and older and invite diversity into my practice embracing all nationalities, genders, and sexual orientations.
I am particularly passionate about working with people in the ranching and equestrians. These are unique cultures that I know and love. If you come from one of them, you won’t have to spend your precious time explaining your world to me. We can just get to work!
Relationship Coaching
The kind of relationship coaching I practice was started by Terrence Real founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT). It is powerful, compassionate, and fast moving. I believe couples work is most rewarding when it is much more than venting, when it’s about getting practical skills and coaching and doing meaningful trauma work when appropriate. These are often the ingredients needed to make lasting and transformative change. This is what we do in Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and I truly I believe it is the best form of couples work available.
For many, counseling and/or coaching can be quite scary, and men and women tend to navigate it differently from one another. Often men who feel particularly reluctant to seek help feel comfortable with my straightforward warm approach. I’m honored that so many couples have trusted me to help them improve their relationships. It seems as if I get to witness miracles daily. I’m excited to bring RLT to Aiken, SC as well as to continuing working with my online clients.
The primary difference between RLT counseling and coaching is that when coaching, we do not go as deep into trauma work. If significant trauma work is indicated, I will refer you out to a trauma therapist while still working with you as a couple. Otherwise, the structure, approach, and effectiveness are the same. Some couples are just more comfortable with the idea of relationship coaching as opposed to therapy. It feels less vulnerable and more future oriented.
Please note, I am only licensed to do couples therapy in Colorado and South Carolina. I can do coaching anywhere. Couples will need to decide which approach they would like to take before we start.
Ranchers
If you are in the ranching world feeling overwhelmed and stressed, you are certainly not alone. If your family is the most important thing in the world to you, yet you feel like the best relationship you have is with your dog, well that’s pretty common too. The reality is mental health issues are literally killing ranchers and an iconic way of American life. Ranchers are about 3.5 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population. Male ranchers are 6 times more likely to commit suicide than other working age men. Relationship issues play a significant role in death by suicide for ranchers between the ages of 20 and 65. You can’t control markets, the weather, policy, but you can control how you manage your own stress and relationships.
Probably the most damaging thing plaguing the ranching world today, especially among men, is the combination of stress and shame. I think it’s fair to say, the combination of stress and shame kills. It takes lives, robs families of their loved ones, deeply damages relationships, sucks the joy out of life, and can cause intense anxiety fear, depression and fuel addiction. Shame and stress isolate and ironically, are often passed down generationally. It’s worth breaking that cycle. It takes time, courage, commitment, but the rewards can be life changing.
Our work is private and confidential and can be done online. You don’t have to leave the ranch! There’s s a lot that can be done to help you gain a sense of peace, manage conflict, improve relationships, problem solve. I use the term “rancher” broadly to include anyone living and/or working on ranches. So, if any of this speaks to you, please reach out.
Equestrians
Whether you’re dealing directly with a horse/riding related issue or would just appreciate a coach who gets what it’s like to be in the horse world, I’m all in! If you are experiencing fear, anxiety, PTSD, self-esteem and confidence issues, there’s so much that can be done to help. I have an effective toolbox and years of experience (as a therapist, coach, rider, trainer, FEI level competitor, and human loving horses her whole life). It’s common for my clients to experience transformative results quickly. These are some of the tools I use.
Brainspotting
This powerful modality is used to enhance athletic performance, remove blocks, and overcome fear, anxiety. Often significant changes can be made in just a session. It can be more effective and quicker than traditional coaching and sport psychology. This is because together, we work directly with your nervous system as opposed to you logical/cognitive brain. In other words, we bypass the noise in your head and rewire the brain/ body connection to support ease, competency, confidence, joy. All of this leads to more mental/emotional peace and sustainable peak performance.
Relational Life Therapy
Riding is all about relationships, and ironically, we tend not to tend to relationship in our development as equestrians. There’s so much to be gained by changing this.
Relational Life therapy (RLT) is a highly effective form of couple’s therapy that I have adapted to work with riders as well as couples. It’s super for diagnosing problems and providing concrete relationship, communication and conflict management skills for solving them. These skills can be used in all facets of your life to help create more fulfilling and authentic relationships. It can help you better connect with your family, spouse, coach, vet, students, clients, teammates, AND HORSE! Perhaps most importantly, RLT can improve how well you understand and care for yourself and all your loved ones.
My belief is horses can make us better humans if we let them. My job is to help them do theirs.
Holistic Management
This is a systematic approach for gaining agency in your life and helping you define and reach your authentic riding/life dreams. The intent is to help you dig deep and create a values-based road map to get where you want to go. This starts with developing a three-part goal: quality of life, production, and environment. Then the action steps needed to reach these goals are defined. Money, time, and resources spent are always “tested” against the goals to keep you on track. The process is super creative and iterative. This means your holistic plan may change and develop as you do. But your plan is always your north star keeping you on track. This process helps riders streamline efforts and resources to maximize desired results.
And in case you are wondering…..
I work with riders of all disciplines at all levels. I have been involved in the horse community since I was 3 years old. I grew up on the racetrack, rode hunter/jumpers, went to Pony Club, rode polo ponies in South Africa, started colts on a Montana cattle ranch, worked with many of the natural horsemanship folks
before they were really a thing, worked and trained in Germany, am an international level dressage rider, USDF Certified Instructor, trainer, coach and lifelong learner. I have worked with at risk youth and veterans doing equine assisted therapy and more. I have learned that as pure and seemingly magical as horses can be, the horse world is often terribly complicated emotionally. What often starts out as a genuine love for horses and equestrian sports can just get hard. I want to help make it easier for you and your horse. I would be so honored to help you reclaim your joy, competency, and peace and achieve your riding goals.
Please call for a free 30 minute consultation.
“When god created the horse, he said to the magnificent creature: I have made thee as no other. All the treasures of the earth lie between thy eyes. Thy shalt carry my friends upon thy back. Thy saddle shall be the seat of prayers to me. And thou shalt fly without wings and conquer without sword; oh horse.” ~Anonymous